InstagramAs a certified social media expert, I speak from experience when I tell you, the reader, that the best follows on the entire internet are ex-athletes on Instagram. Forty-something-year-old men, who have conquered the world’s most exacting profession, living strange lives in their twilight, just wandering along in a world they never planned for when they were young. Wanna see 7-time All-Star and future Hall of Famer Joe Johnson posting Hemsworth-level beefcake shots? Pau Gasol eating an egg? Follow Reggie Miller’s trail biking exploits? Well, reader, it’s all out there and more: a brave new world of older men, having lived out what they were led to believe was their primary purpose, just vibing, looking for good times, and congratulating their children on minor accomplishments. The lives we would all live if our wildest dreams came true.Last Friday night, Hall of Fame Celtics forward Paul Pierce set the gold standard for all retired-athlete Instagram content when he, bafflingly, livestreamed himself, glassy-eyed and transparently wasted, playing poker with his dudes while a bevy of strippers milled around, twerked at the camera, and appeared to be having a good, wholesome time, while a random midseason NBA game played on TV in the background.Feel free to consume this sacred document here, but if you can’t carve out the time tonight, allow me to take a second to describe some highlights. Pierce opens the stream by saying “lemme get a neck massage.” He invites a stripper in the comments over, saying she could be making some money. He appears to be drinking booze out of a small medicine cup. For two or so minutes, he takes time to shout-out the Jewish people on Shabbat, says “Shabbat is poppin,” and says that he would love to “Be on Shabbat.” When someone mentions COVID-19, he says that he already got vaccinated, and then recommends everyone get the shot, which is, frankly, just responsible messaging. Then he pulls off an incredible line read of “Stop hatin’… everybody hatin’…” Read more at The Daily Beast.
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