In September 2016, Apple released iOS 10. With it came the iMessage Tapback, the convenient and highly ambiguous reaction feature that — nearly three years later — no onequiteknows how to use.

Tapbacks were created, one assumes, to make texting more convenient. It’s true that they’re nearly effortless to employ: Simply press on a message until you’re presented with the Tapback options — a heart, a thumbs up, a thumbs down, a HAHA, a double exclamation point, and a question mark — and pick the one you want. Easy, right? You didn’t even have to type anything!

Here’s the trouble, though. There’s no practical consensus on what, exactly, Tapbacks are supposed to be, or mean. Thus, no implicit code of etiquette has emerged around their use. In our already anxiety-ridden texting culture, that’s a recipe for chaos.

The main question appears to be whether Tapbacks are meant to function as actual messages or as social media reactions. (Before you ask: Yes, iMessage is a social network.) Apple’s blurb on the subject calls Tapbacks a way to “quickly reply” to texts. But the mechanics and appearance of the feature are more similar to, say, a Twitter like, which is decidedlynota reply. A reply is (generally) meant to move a conversation forward; a reaction, which often marks the end of an exchange, reflects on messages already sent.

So when someone reacts to your question with a thumbs up Tapback, you just don’t know: Are they reacting to the message (“Thanks for asking me to go to the beach”) or are they replying affirmatively to the message’s contents (“Yes, I will go to the beach”)? If someone sends you a heart Tapback in lieu of a reply, are they saying “I’m into that” or “OK, but I would like the conversation to end?”

These questions don’t apply to every conversation. If you’re texting your best friend, for example, one Tapback probably won’t matter to you at all. But if you’re texting a more casual acquaintance — or worse, a crush — e